Maybe it's a bit more complicated than that...
The all-knowing’s on temporary leave. Meanwhile, I have been thinking about the defenses I employ in my life, because being home usually means arguing with my parents… a lot. There goes my Zen.
And even though it seems like I’m not really in control of those defenses most of the time, I do understand why they have occurred and how they have helped me so far. And why they will keep occurring unless I do something about it. Then again… how do you change something as intrinsic as this?
Anyway, here are the five ways I defend myself against the big bad world:
5. Rationalization: If something is logical, it must be true… right? Wrong. In feelings and life, there is little logic, even though we try to make sense of everything around us all the time. In fact, trying to take control of our lives often backfires because life’s about balance. You can’t control everything. And you can’t control anything or anyone apart from yourself.
4. Regression: When bad things happen, I get the need to go back in time and dig out things that calm me down. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I have my safety blankets: Harry Potter, Simple Plan, and Gilmore Girls, among a bunch of others. Those are things that have calmed me down in the past and I’ve employed them so often that now they feel like home… safety. They keep me sane in crazy times.
3. Sarcasm: My mother hates this about me, but I am just as sarcastic as my father. I don’t always go into the heavy aspect of it where it sounds like a verbal slap across the face, but sometimes I can’t help it. I hate it when people state the obvious. And I like to make something extremely dull into a funny thing. Because who doesn’t want to laugh instead of be all peeved and grumpy. I mean, if you’re gonna live, do it right. To me, funny feels warm and right. Funny makes everything easy and enjoyable. And sarcasm is a big part of that. Luckily, there are other sarcastic people in the world who know what I’m saying.
2. Self-irony: Oh boy. This is by far the most annoying thing about me… or the most amusing, you choose. I just… I don’t take myself seriously, at all. And I laugh at people who take themselves seriously. So instead of blushing and mumbling something when I do something stupid (if I had a nickel…), I choose to laugh it off. And not just laugh it off, but really get into how stupid I was for even doing it. Granted, people start thinking you’re somewhat stupid… But you know what, the people who know you, know you inside out and they are usually good judges of how stupid or smart you are, so there. I really don’t care what the rest of the Earth’s population thinks of me.
1. Denial: If something doesn’t exist in my head, then it doesn’t exist. Period. This is by far my biggest enemy and most loyal friend. When life gets too tough and when something is unthinkable, I deny it’s happened. When I fell in love for the first time, I denied it for two months. Needless to say, it exploded all over the place eventually, but I did manage to keep it at bay for a long time. Good for me… *sigh*
So… these are my defense mechanisms. Some of them are psychologically acclaimed as such, others are just things people do for various reasons. My reasons are to defend myself from people who try to change me. I like myself as I am, thank you very much. It might sound irritatingly arrogant, but I reckon I am as good as I can be with the tools I’ve been given by Nature and circumstance. So I don’t appreciate people telling me how I should act, or what I should do, say, etc.
I am who I am. Take it or leave it.
How do YOU defend yourself against people who don’t get you and things that go wrong in your life? How do you choose to act when confronted? What causes these defenses to rear their ugly heads? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!