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Wednesday, 24 August 2011

All-Knowing Sheds Light on ALIEN LIFE!

I’ve been thinking about aliens lately. Yesterday I saw a clip in YouTube where Neil Armstrong gives a very odd speech at a press conference. NASA is suspected to know something more about the Moon than it’s letting on. And thousands of people across the globe swear they’ve seen flying saucers in the sky. In fact, some people saw some fireballs in the sky back in Bulgaria’s capital the other day.

So what’s the truth? Let’s ask the all-knowing then, shall we?

Q: Do aliens exist?
A: In Pieces by Linkin Park: So that’s what’s circling the orbit. Alien bits.
Q: Are there more or less advanced than us?
A: No Stress by Laurent Wolf: Way more advanced. Without stress, they live forever.
Q: How many alien species are out there?
A: Who Knew by Pink: Not me. (Or the all-knowing.)

Q: What might one find at the end of the Universe?
A: Just a Dream by Nelly: It’s just like the Matrix, baby. Told ya.
Q: Is there one object that is Universal for all life forms?
A: Cubicles by My Chemical Romance: Otherwise the space economy would crumble.

Q: Is there really a face on the Moon? How about a Pyramid?
A: Sexy Bitch by Akon feat. David Guetta: It’s a sexy face. The Pyramid is just its very symmetrical nose.
Q: Did the aliens bring life on Earth?
A: Best for Last by Adele: Yes, we’re the height of alien achievement.
Q: Are we lab rats in alien experiments?
A: All American Nightmare by Hinder: They only experiment on Americans. Phew.

Q: How do aliens communicate?
A: Fairy Tails and Castles by Lifehouse: Through children’s books. That’s brilliant!
Q: How do aliens greet one another?
A: Never Let Go by Brian Adams: Aww, that’s lovely.
Q: How do they greet Earth people?
A: Into Dust by Mazzy Star: Somehow I think this is less affectionate.

Q: What do they look like?
A: Blind by Jason Derulo: They’re too advanced for eyes.
Q: How many limbs do they have?
A: Look but Don’t Touch: Dunno. But they’re all radioactive.
Q: What is the average alien diet?
A: About You Now by Sugababes: Bar-folk.

Q: Are they among us or do they just visit occasionally?
A: She Will Be Loved by Maroon 5: Oh they’re here. They like the women a lot.
Q: Will they come in peace or to invade us?
A: My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne: Hard to say whose happy ending it’s gonna be.
Q: Is the U.S. government in possession of a spaceship?
A: Skin by Breaking Benjamin: Yes. It’s made of skin. Human skin.

Q: What is the best present you can give to an alien?
A: Last Kiss Goodbye by Hinder: Just don’t slobber too much.
Q: What is the most commonly used alien name?
A: Butterfly by Crazy Town: Right. So most of them are hookers.
Q: How many aliens does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It Wasn’t Enough by Good Charlotte: I’d say quite a few.

Q: How do aliens make love?
A: Loaded and Alone by Hinder: Only way to go in space!
Q: Where’s the best alien resort on Earth located?
A: Waka Waka by Shakira: One-way ticket to Africa please.

Q: Can they shape-shift and look like us?
A: Red Umbrella by Faith Hill: Tell you what. Burn your red umbrella just in case.
Q: What’s the most popular and lucrative alien profession?
A: Pardon Me by Staind: Professional apologizer? I’d rather stay on Earth.
Q: What about sport?
A: Crash World by Hilary Duff: Crashing planets together. It’s like a big frigging amusement park out there.

Q: Can aliens manipulate time and space?
A: Boom boom boom by Rare Blend: Nope. They just like to blow up things.
Q: What do they think of humans?
A: Mercy by Duffy: We’re too pitiful to blow up. Good pets, too.
Q: Is the truth really out there or is it closer than we think?
A: Closer by Goapele: I knew it! I bet we’re all aliens without knowing it.

You've been warned. And before you go, check this out:



Michael Offutt said...

Very clever post. I see aliens everyday in my local supermarket.

Angela Wallace said...

Lol. I love a good laugh. This part was my favorite:

Q: How do aliens greet one another?
A: Never Let Go by Brian Adams: Aww, that’s lovely.
Q: How do they greet Earth people?
A: Into Dust by Mazzy Star: Somehow I think this is less affectionate.

traceyhansenwrites said...

I love the All-Knowing. Always has the answers! lol