Remember I told you about ZELDA on Monday?
Here is the first instalment, a.k.a. all the best, worst, and in-between movies of 2010.
Or at least the ones I’ve seen so far. Don’t worry. I’ve added a list of the ones I MUST watch as well. The categories are: Zelda, the Excellent; Zelda, the Good Witch; and Zelda, the Dung-Beetle (the wicked sisters of the West). I’ll explain five of my choices for each category and list the rest underneath. Get ready for some spoilers, rants, and gushes.
Also, I’ve taken the liberty to give awards for the BEST and the WORST movie of 2010. Just because I can. To be honest with ya, this award-giving might go to my head and make me mad with power. I hope you guys will keep me grounded. *wink*
Zelda, the Excellent
1. Black Swan: Darren Aronofsky gave birth to a masterpiece. This particular movie spoke to me on a psychological level. It depicts the journey of a disturbed young ballerina maturing into a duplicitous young woman who strives for perfection on stage. There’s sex, there’s murder, and there’s fear. I’m not talking about being afraid of spiders, I’m talking about deep fear of oneself. *chills* Not to mention that Portman’s Oscar-worthy performance was spectacular.
2. Scott Pilgrim Against the World: This is the first movie that I’ve called original in AGES. No, seriously. It reminds me of Sin City, and who doesn’t remember that classic? It’s half-movie half-video game. But not in the obnoxious way Sucker Punch was supposed to impress. Scott Pilgrim lacks in the sense department but it doesn’t pretend to make sense. It simply is what it is and that’s awesome! Another notable movie with Michael Cera is Youth in Revolt. He’s an odd duck.
3. Eat Pray Love: I have lived to watch another wonderful movie starring Julia Roberts! I missed her. They don’t make them movies like they did in the old days. Pretty Woman, Notting Hill, Erin Brockovich... Eat Pray Love may not be revolutionary or timeless, but it is profoundly sweet and meaningful. Based on Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir, it follows a divorced woman on her world journey to discovering herself. It’s more than mid-life crisis. It’s The Alchemist all over again. So if you’re ever in the mood for a bit of soul-searching, that’s the film you need to see. “Dolce far niente!”
4. Love and Other Drugs: Now that’s a good movie for people who enjoy ze romance! It’s the account of a young woman diagnosed with early-onset Parkinson’s. I wasn’t sure if Anne Hathaway could handle this particular part but she did. Too bad actors don’t really get acknowledgement for those kinds of movies. Curiously, the film is both light AND heavy, which makes it excellent overall.
5. The King’s Speech: Of course you know this one grabbed most of those tiny golden Oscars, don’t you? And it was completely well-deserved. One could hardly imagine a King stammering, right? Well, this movie defies all logic and brings Colin Firth to a whole new level of greatness. I could have sworn that he was indeed a stammerer, and I can only imagine how hard a role that must have been. Not to mention how delightful the relationship between the King and his Speech Therapist was. Can a King really have an ordinary man for a friend? Watch and find out.
The rest: Wild Target, Life as We Know It, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Splice, The Lovely Bones, Next Three Days. I’ll take the time to ask you: PLEASE WATCH SPLICE! *pokes*
Out of the 60-something movies I watched, only 11 made the cut. I suppose it could have been much worse. And you’ll see what I mean when the most unfortunate movie year’s turn comes.
And the ZELDA AWARD FOR EXCELLENCY goes to:
Zelda, the Good Witch
1. Dinner for Schmucks: Lovely movie. It was such a refreshing comedy. So what if the guy’s stupid, give him a break! This movie goes to show that if your heart is in the right place, no matter how quirky you are (Mouse art? Seriously?), you can still have a friend. Gives me hope, really.
2. Inception: I can hear you objecting. I know it was the most anticipated movie of the year. I also know that Leonardo DiCaprio and the Juno girl are trendy right now. But. The whole thing was too convoluted to be an excellent movie. And I do realize that some people saw some greater meaning in it. Alas, I didn’t. I loved the concept but that’s about it. The dreams-within-dreams part gave me a headache. Hey, I’m all for ‘deep’, but give me a break. If you don’t understand what the film’s on about, then you should have probably skipped it. The ONLY exception is The Matrix.
3. Mastermind: I loved Matermind! And I loved the way it switched the good guy and the bad guy as if it was no big deal. It is one of those rare modern Disney movies that actually inspire you. You know, like Meet the Robinsons (“keep moving forward”), Finding Nemo (be brave), and Wall-e (Eeee-va). The ones that make you almost-cry. (Though Nemo did make me cry!)
4. The Social Network: Mhm, I know it won Oscars. See, I get that facebook is trendy, it’s basically the one network that will stick. But. The main character wasn’t convincing enough and the whole thing was too... technical. Some guys had the idea, our guy took it, they sued him, yada yada. The good parts were the ones where he was actually somewhat human. Good, but not great.
5. The Kids Are All Right: Yes, Moore was nominated for the Oscar and sadly, she didn’t win it. Every single actor in this movie acted their part very well. The message was good, the drama was ... you know, dramatic. I mean, the only reason I didn’t bestow excellence upon it is because I wasn’t particularly impressed by it. Even now, I can hardly remember how it ended.
The rest: Alice in Wonderland, Salt, The Back-up Plan, Going the Distance, I Love You Philip Morris, Leap Year, Letters to Juliet, Nine Dead, Percy Jackson, Remember Me, The Ghost Writer, The Last Song, When in Rome, Youth in Revolt, Case 39, Beauty and the Briefcase, Burlesque.
Zelda, the Dung-Beetle
1. The Tourist: So everybody waited for this one because of Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. I never thought I’d say this about a Johnny Depp movie but it was superficial, uninteresting, and plotless. And I didn’t have too high expectations anyway, so this conclusion is not at all due to the high-expectations movie dilemma. It was just that bad. Salt, at least, had a plot and real suspense.
2. Predators: My housemates made me watch that. I didn’t catch any dialogue at all. I do understand that watching action movies is a thrill for guys but the smart guys I know also appreciate a good plot with good dialogue. One even likes dramas. *sigh* In music, few songs can ever be good enough if they have no lyrics. It’s the same with movies and dialogue. AnotheR ‘Hollywood-acclaimed’ action movie that didn’t make the cut was Clash of the Titans.
3. Charlie St. Cloud: My reaction in the end was: WTF?! Was that it? Did I miss the point? Was that some sort of modern parody of Sixth Sense? If it was, I obviously missed the punch-line as well. In short, it made no sense. I almost regret watching it. Same goes for Dear John. Ugh. And what’s with Amanda Seyfried and sappiness? Can’t she pick something else for a change?
4. The only good thing that came out of The Sorcerer’s Apprentice was the song by One Republic: Secrets. You know, it shouldn’t be this hard to think of a fantasy plot. You know... throw some trolls and elves in, even werewolves if you must, make up the rules, draw the maps... not just slap on the word ‘sorcerer’ in the title and wait to see if something magical is going to happen. It ain’t.
5. Killers: OMG, kill me now and end the madness! In what alternate universe can this be considered a movie? This is not only humiliating but concerning as well. Has the bar gone so low? I mean, re-enacting Mr. And Mrs. Smith (don’t get me started) with two other celeb actors (Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher) is not something I’d look forward to watching anyway, but come on. Brad and Angelina are laughing and mocking in the corner, that’s how bad it was!
The rest: Despicable Me, Get Him to the Greek, Hot Tub Machine, Justin Time, Little Fockers, Nice Guy Johnny, Shelter, She’s out of My League, The Bounty Hunter, The Extra Man.
And the DUNG-AWARD goes to...HOT TUB TIME MACHINE.
Oh my. I cannot BELIEVE that John Cusack agreed to play in it. Did he do it on a dare? Was he out of good offers? Was he out of decent ones? What in the world’s name is funny about a hot-tub machine that takes you back and forth in future? Someone please explain this to me.
And finally, here’s my list of 2010 movies-to-watch: Book of Eli, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The American, Never Let Me Go, Monsters, 127 Hours, Morning Glory, Tangled, Rabbit Hole, True Grit.
So tell me. What did you think of those movies? Which movies would you add? Which movies do you wish you hadn’t seen? Finally, which movies will stay with you forever?