(suphafly @ DeviantArt)
So before I give you what you came here for, I just want to say that WEDNESDAY RULES! If you haven’t already checked Anne-Mhairi Simpson’s Wednesday Word (GRIFNAT) and Tracey Hansen’s Hump Day Challenge, YOU SHOULD. After you read this, head over there, because the words will make you laugh and marvel, while the challenge will flex your writing muscles and inspire you. Not to mention that you might get the winner’s shiny badge for your blog. I mean… no, you can’t. THE BADGE IS MINE! MY precious.
Now then. Welcome to the second installment of Wise Winamp Wednesday where my all-knowing friend tells fortune and gives perspective in bulks! Since the first installment was a HOOT, my friend Angela Wallace suggested that I should make WWW a regular thing, so here it is! If you missed last Wednesday’s post, go ahead and check it out.
As usual, I’ll start with my own and then add your questions for good measure.
Q: Which came first: the duck or the egg? (Give the chicken a break!)
A: Don’t Trust Me -- Then what’s the point of this game???????????
Q: What REALLY makes or breaks a novel?
A: One (Your Name) by Swedish House Mafia -- I’ve always suspected! O.O
Q: Where do people go after falling in the Bermuda Triangle?
A: Is It Love by Lio -- I had no idea people could fall into a concept!
Q: Will I self-publish or go traditional?
A: Need You Tonight – I doubt it’s gonna happen so soon, but okay.
Q: How many blondes do you need to slip on a banana?
A: Hero by Mariah Carey -- But… how many heroes do you need to slip on a banana?
Q: Where did all the anvils go??? (Gilmore Girls)
A: Start without You by Alexandra Burke -- I see. They didn’t use up their full potential with us, so they had to migrate to another planet and start an Anvil Civilization.
Q: What can the Wizard of Oz give me that I don’t already have?
A: Alejandro by Lady Gaga – Oh la la. I would like one of those, with cherry on top.
Q: Can I have fire powers? (Angela Wallace)
A: Runaway by 3 doors down -- It depends. If you run fast enough, you may be able to set yourself on fire.
Q: Wait, do you grant wishes?
A: Counting Blue Cars by Dishwalla -- Can YOU count all the blue cars in the world? If yes, then he does.
Q: If the apocalypse happens in my lifetime, could you please put my name on the list of those not lucky enough to be alive afterward?
A: Candy on the Dancefloor by Natural Born Groove – Yes.
Q: If I eradicate all spiders on this planet, will it truly change the ecosystem? How so?
A: Someone Watching Over Me by Hilary Duff – You can’t kill them, silly girl. The spider angels will eradicate YOU if you tried.
Q: Why is it all fucked up, how can I make gobs of money, and how can I build a harem? (James Tallett)
1. Does Anyone Know? (Bulgarian song): Nope. Moving on.
2. Attack by 30 Seconds to Mars: Adopt a more violent approach. (Sounds about right.)
3. Hit Me Up by Gia Farrell: That would be an excellent start. Repetition is the motherf*cker.
Q: Will it rain today? (Orlando Ramos)
A: Dream On by Aerosmith – Is there a drought where you live?!
Q: What shall I wear today?
A: Lovely by Deep Side: Something that goes well with your eyes and skin complexion.
Q: Well where are Max & Ruby's parents? (bunny show for kids) (Sara Leggeri)
A: Let Me Think about It – “Try again later.” (Aaargh, stupid ball, answer dammit!)
Q: Am I on the right path? (Mark Evans)
A: Child in Time – Yes. But you’re in the wrong century.
Q: "Was my phone hacked?"
A: Tourniquet by Evanescence -- Yes. It’s badly hurt bleeding somewhere.
Q: "Can I call myself 'The Master'?"
A: So Many Times by Gadjo – Sure, but when I ask that, the answer’s no. <_<
Q: "Is all this real?"
A: Marco Polo -- If Polo answers, then yes.
Q: How much is too much to spend on assless chaps? (Tracey Hansen)
A: We Can by Leann Rimes -- This song inspires me. And now I’ll associate it with assless chaps. Thanks a lot, Trace. (Winamp says there’s no limit, go crazy.)
Q: If I died and came back as a vegetable which kind would I be?
A: Fairy Tails and Castles by Lifehouse – Hairy-assed corn growing on castles.
Q: What is the most common physical evidence left behind by a murderer? (Chris Jensen)
A: Crystal Ball by Pink – Well, the murderer should have remembered to retrieve his ball after the séance. (This can go on in many dirty ways…)
Q: What gets the most convictions?
A: Better Luck Next Time by Lifehouse – Peeing on police cars. It’s always too dark to see what kind of car it is. Of course, there will be no next time.
Q: Where is my missing iPod Touch? (Sonia G. Medeiros)
A: Sound of Pulling Heaven Down – It passed away on the way to the hospital.
Q: When and where will the zombie apocalypse arise?
A: You’re Beautiful by James Blunt -- At a beauty pageant. One of the overzealous moms will summon Lucifer and he’ll send his minions to ravish the earth.
Q: "How does ink come out of pens?" (Carissa Elg)
A: No Love by Simple Plan: You never hug it a day in its life, and it’s good to go.
Q: I want to know if he'll get the job! (Jen Kirchner)
A: Vampires will Never Hurt You by My Chemical Romance – Does he want to become a priest? If he does, the answer’s yes. If he doesn’t, the answer’s worrisome.
Q: I also want to know what Meatloaf won't do for love.
A: Music by Madonna: He wouldn’t bust a move. Not with the state of music today!
Q: Also, what novel project should I work on next - my post-apocalypse or my urban fantasy idea?
A: We Are the Champions – The answer’s always the same. Go with apocalypse, because chances are, it will happen one day. And you’ll be able to say: I told you!
Q: Will I survive my daughter's 8th grade year! (Susan Sipal)
A: I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy -- Oops. Sorry, the all-knowing only cares for curing cancer and stopping wars. I’ll get him drunk and get back to you.
Now… if anyone has any more questions for my all-knowing friend, send them my way. I’ll happily feature them next week. Thank you all for participating and reading!
Post-script: I always appreciate your feedback! And if you liked this article, spread the love by booking my face, chasing the blue bird, or rating my google. TY!