I'm going to the beach, SUCKERS!

I'll be sunbathing, baby!

I have a brief announcement to make. You won’t be seeing me round here or on Twitter from Friday to Monday because… I’m going to the beach! Ha. If the beach won’t come, I’ve found a way to go to it. There’s always a way, my precious…

Now. If you live on the beach, don’t even comment below because my answer will be: I hate you… and come back again. The thing is, I’ve always loved the sea. The sound of the waves crashing, the seagulls , the sun melting my skin and the salt water rejuvenating it.

And it’s not all fuzzy feelings and romantic scenery either. There’s dead crabs, gross weeds, and funny smells all round. But to me… the sea is home. Now imagine having these feeling for someone – I mean something – and not being able to consummate – I mean express – them in a healthy way!

That’s right. I haven’t gone to the beach for THREE FRIGGING YEARS. Why? Because I’ve been in bloody England where the sun don’t shine when you want it to shine and the water is cold whatever the season and… well, you get the picture. It’s my fault really. I should have come back home more often… to Bulgaria, where the beaches are thing of beauty and the words tits and fuck carry in the air like magic on a stick. I mean… whatever, I’m fucking going to the beach. Apologies. I cuss when I’m excited… Now the only thing that puts a damper on my bliss is the gigantic beach umbrella we are bringing with us.

Now. In case you are like me and you have forgotten what the sea looks like, I’ll toss in a few pictures in a bit. While I have not taken the pictures myself, you can go see Amber West’s outing to the sea. She’s done a magnificent job, much better than I can probably do myself. *sigh*

And I suppose I can try my best to document this historic event in my life. God knows when I’ll be going to the beach again!

Until then… Here are some pictures to set the mood.

I've always wanted to be stranded on a beach... 

But people are bound to appear and stare at you as if you're a crab.

I hope the seagulls won't be evil...

Presenting... my beach project. I will not rest until it's perfect.

OR I CAN DIG A HOLE!!!!!

And of course, there will always be margaritas...

And I'll finally try out my hitchhiking skills. Take me, sailor!

 I should've left my hair long for a better beach effect.

Or dyed it blond. 

Perfect time to check human pyramid off my bucket list. Top please!

So I'll be back refreshed and improved on Monday. Perhaps a little burnt as well...